Joke of the Week

COULDN’T PICK ONE–SO HERE’S ALL OF THEM:

Christmas Jokes – Funny Santa and Holiday Jokes | Reader’s Digest

https://www.rd.com/jokes/christmas-jokes/
Ho-ho-ho with our collection of funny Christmas jokes.

55 Funny Christmas Jokes and Comics – Boys’ Life magazine

https://boyslife.org › Features
Happy Holidays! Count down the days until Christmas with a sleigh full of funny Christmas jokes and comics told to us by Boys’ Life readers.

Christmas Cracker Jokes — Christmas Fun — whychristmas?com

https://www.whychristmas.com/fun/cracker_jokes.shtml
Here are some bad Christmas Jokes. I’ve only got Christmas or winter themed ones here – as I like them the most! If you know anymore bad Christmas jokes ( that …

Christmas Jokes – Funny Christmas Jokes

www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/christmasjokes/
Funny Christmas Jokes: Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: a wrapper! Q: Why is Christmas just like your job? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with …

45 Amusing Christmas Jokes – Funny jokes to make you merry! | Pun.me

pun.me/pages/christmas-jokes.php
Funny or bad christmas jokes are a key moment of the festive season. Here are a bunch of the best jokes to keep you merry this christmas!

50 Funny, Clean Christmas Jokes That Will Get You In The Holiday …

https://thoughtcatalog.com/…/50-funny-clean-christmas-jokes-that-will-get-you-in-the…
How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life. 2. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had very low  …

35 Dirty Christmas Jokes That Will Help You Get Through The …

https://thoughtcatalog.com/…/35-dirty-christmas-jokes-that-will-help-you-get-through…
Why does Santa always come through the chimney? Because he knows better than to try the back door. 2. Why was the snowman smiling? He could see the …

Christmas Jokes – Xmas Fun

xmasfun.com/Jokes.aspx
Our humorous collection of Christmas jokes and riddles. Sure to bring a smile to your day! Brought to you by XmasFun.com. Merry Christmas!

Christmas Jokes for Kids – EmailSanta.com

https://www.emailsanta.com/jokes-for-kids/christmas-jokes.asp
Laugh at some silly Christmas jokes with Santa, the reindeer and the elves!

Christmas Jokes | Christmas Humor | Christmas Funny Santa Jokes

https://www.theholidayspot.com/christmas/jokes/
Here are some Best Christmas Jokes – Christmas Humor, christmas oneliners, Free Christmas jokesand puns, Funny jokes, Short christmas jokes, Christmas …

 

TWAS THE NIGHT BERFORE HANUKKAH

”TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHANUKAH — OY! WHAT A SHOCK!

SOMEBODY OUTSIDE WAS PICKING OUR LOCK!

AND THERE AT THE DOOR STOOD A ZAYDA IN BLUE

AND HE WORE ON HIS KUPP A BLUE YARMAULKA, TOO!

HIS POONIM WAS SHAIN, EVERYBODY WOULD LOVE IT!

ROUND HIS NECK HUNG A CHAIN WITH A GOLD MOGEN DAVID!

HE WORE SILKEN TSITZISS BENEATH HIS WOOL VEST,

AND A SMALL FLAG OF ISRAEL WAS DRAPED ON HIS CHEST!

HE SAID: “I’M NO BURGLAR, SO PLEASE DON’T BE NERVOUS.

I’M THE SPIRIT OF CHANUKAH, HERE AT YOUR SERVICE!

MENCHEN ALL CALL ME REB SHALOM SHAPIRO!

WITHOUT ME, THIS YON-TOV MIGHT NEED A NEW HERO.

I VISIT ALL YIDLACH, AND BRING CONNAHURRAH —

GOOD FORTUNE AS BRIGHT AS A GLOWING MENORAH!

ICH SHLEPP LOTS OF BLESSINGS AND CHANUKAH GELT,

AND JOYS THAT ARE TOKKA THE BEST IN DER VELT!

IF YOU KNOW NICE MENCHEN, I’LL VISIT THEM QUICK,

AND I’LL BRING THEM GEZUNT AND A HOUSE FULL OF GLICK!”

SO WE SENT HIM TO YOUR HOUSE, AND SHOOK HANDS AND
PARTED.

HE SHOUTED, “SHALOM!” OUT THE DOORWAY HE DARTED!

HE RAN TO A WAGON WITH HORSES AHEAD.

HE FED THEM SOME BAGELS, AND HERE’S WHAT HE SAID:

“LET’S GO, MOISH & MENDLE! MAKE QUICK, MOE & YUSSLE!

PLEASE GIVE A RUSH, MALKAH! HEY, HYMIE, PLEASE
HUSTLE!”

THEN THEY RACED LIKE THE WIND! AND THEY GALLOPED SO
SHNELL,

ALL HIS CLOTHING BLEW OFF, AND HIS GATKES AS WELL!

SOON HE WAS SO KALT THAT HIS TUSHIE TURNED BLUISH!

HE MOANED AND HE HOLLERED IN ENGLISH AND JEWISH!

SO, DON’T BE EMBARRASSED, AND PLEASE DON’T BE RUDE

WHEN THAT FROSTBITTEN ZAYDA ARRIVES IN THE NUDE!

QUICK! WRAP HIM IN BLANKETS! DON’T BEAT ROUND THE
BUSH!

QUICK! TIE A HOT WATER BAG ON HIS COLD TUSH!

FEED HIM SOME CHICKEN SOUP HAYSS AS CAN BE!

AND GIVE HIM SOME SHNAPPS AND A GLAIZL HOT TEA!

CAUSE HE BRINGS YOU A HOUSE FULL OF CHANUKAH WISHES

AS WARM AND GISHMOCK AS A PLATE OF HOT KNISHES!

AND HE BRINGS THEM FROM OUR HOUSE SO FRIENDLY AND
BRIGHT,

SO YOUR HOUSE WILL KEEP GLOWING WITH CHANUKAH LIGHT —

PLUS JOY SWEET AS TSIKKER, AND PEACE AND GOOD-CHEER

AND EVERYTHING FRAYLACH EACH DAY OF THE YEAR!

AND NO ONE IN YOUR FAMILY WILL BE A SCHLIMAZEL,

FOR LIFE WILL BRING EACH OF YOU SIMCHAS AND MAZEL!

AND ALL THROUGH THE FUTURE YOUR HOPES WILL COME TRUE,

AND GUTENHIMMEL WILL BLESS YOUR MISHPUCHA AND YOU!